MSNBC: Joy Reid and Rachel Maddow Live at the Apollo
5/5/2024 1:02am
... [ cheers and applause ] i got you on that one. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] _ ...
MSNBC: White House Correspondents Dinner
4/28/2024 4:43am
... i would love to. okay, let's do a picture. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] _ ...
CNN: United States of Scandal
4/1/2024 2:50am
... but you were client number 9. [laughter, cheers and applause] but no detail caught the public's imagination quite like the tidbit that spitzer allegedly kept on his black socks while engaging with sex workers. even if he did keep black socks on, who cares? ...
CNN: United States of Scandal
3/18/2024 3:49am
... just had to get their jabs in on the newly anointed client number 9. and you wanted to have sex with a hooker, but you didn't wanna wear a condom? -really? -hmm. really? that might not be scary if you were client number 1, but you were client number 9. [laughter, cheers and applause] but no detail ...
CNN: United States of Scandal
3/17/2024 4:49am
... just had to get their jabs in on the newly anointed client number 9. and you wanted to have sex with a hooker, but you didn't wanna wear a condom? -really? -hmm. really? that might not be scary if you were client number 1, but you were client number 9. [laughter, cheers and applause] but no detail ...
CNN: United States of Scandal
3/17/2024 0:50am
... but you were client number 9. [laughter, cheers and applause] but no detail caught the public's imagination quite like the tidbit that spitzer allegedly kept on his black socks while engaging with sex workers. even if he did keep black socks on, who cares? ...
CNN: United States of Scandal
3/11/2024 3:49am
... -really? -hmm. really? that might not be scary if you were client number 1, but you were client number 9. [laughter, cheers and applause] but no detail caught the public's imagination quite like the tidbit that spitzer allegedly kept on his black socks while engaging with sex workers. ...
CNN: United States of Scandal
3/10/2024 3:49am
... [laughter, cheers and applause] but no detail caught the public's imagination quite like the tidbit that spitzer allegedly kept on his black socks while engaging with sex workers. even if he did keep black socks on, who cares? like, if that's a kink, then, lord, help us. ...
CNN: United States of Scandal
3/4/2024 5:50am
... but you were client number 9. [laughter, cheers and applause] but no detail caught the public's imagination quite like the tidbit that spitzer allegedly kept on his black socks while engaging with sex workers. even if he did keep black socks on, who cares? ...
CNN: United States of Scandal
3/4/2024 2:49am
... just had to get their jabs in on the newly anointed client number 9. and you wanted to have sex with a hooker, but you didn't wanna wear a condom? -really? -hmm. really? that might not be scary if you were client number 1, but you were client number 9. [laughter, cheers and applause] but no detail ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
2/27/2024 3:22am
... [laughter] [cheers and applause] and then he comes back up to the mic and he's totally lost. there's stairs all over the ...
FOX News: The Ingraham Angle
2/21/2024 9:03am
... i think i've pretty well settled that question. laura: has she that question? former president trump: i settled at about three months ago. [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
2/17/2024 3:36am
... get old. [laughter] [cheers and applause]. greg: it does show you how militant -- kat: yeah, at the meetings did knob bring up, well she is 90? end of discussion. you make it to 90, you can say whatever you want. [cheers and applause]. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
2/17/2024 3:07am
... to shoving things up your ass. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: by the way, he also was found in a park sticking a branch up his ass. he defended himself saying, you never heard of playing fetch? ...
FOX News: Cavuto Live
2/10/2024 3:17pm
... youth and inexperience. [laughter] [cheers and applause] neil: that election was over with that quip and in that moment. at the time ronald reagan was trying to bounce back if a very ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
1/11/2024 3:48am
... feet lee. what are your thoughts? [laughter] [cheers and applause] lee: i've been trying not to listen to this segment. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
1/9/2024 3:36am
... nukes, i totally want the dome. put me down for two walls, i want the wall with mexico, i want a wall between us and california. [laughter] [cheers and applause] michael: and then i want a ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
1/9/2024 3:07am
... it took two months before anyone realized he was even missing. i had to wait three months for my giraffe meat. and i think pete's back but how can you tell? oh, yeah, doors are flying off airplanes. [laughter] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
1/3/2024 3:12am
... greg: yes. rob: until a few months ago. everybody said okay yeah you're a ph.d. nobody bothered to read the sentences. vince: i actually read it the first time it came out when it was written by the original author. [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
12/15/2023 3:22am
... i'm here, i'm ready. greg: usually when hunter says i'm here and i'm ready, it's followed by, and the money's on the dresser. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: of course, defying ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
12/15/2023 3:09am
... fellows. [laughter] [cheers and applause] tyrus: that reaction is what's wrong with america. i have a black zone no whitey ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
12/14/2023 3:46am
... biden hasn't been able to shut down. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: how's everything else in california adam? things are cooking? ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
12/3/2023 4:04am
... [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: the fda has approved an at-home test for chlamydia. here's hoyt works. if you have sex with hunter biden, you have chlamydia. [laughter] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
12/2/2023 3:04am
... soon cross the border into the united states. apparently it's pay backs for the ones we once sent to canada. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: the fda has approved an ...
FOX News: FOX and Friends
12/1/2023 11:01am
... you know if you are going to show up to georgia, you better bring the entire team. [laughter] [cheers and applause] is it was an incredible debate last night about liberty and freedom vs. human decay on the ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
11/23/2023 3:47am
... you know why kat likes this band? because she could beat them up. [laughter] [cheers and applause]. paul: i mean, it was probably a good career move. let's be frank, nobody talked about them for a good long while. i liked the sound and everything ...
FOX News: Special Report With Bret Baier
11/11/2023 0:00am
... [laughter] [cheers and applause] bret: oh, dear. one week covering this place. monday on 'special report,' our ...
FOX News: FOX and Friends Saturday
9/30/2023 1:17pm
... i? [laughter] [cheers and applause] where the hell am i? where am i? nah, he's terrible. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
9/23/2023 2:06am
... with all her ex boyfriends. this week, joy behar called presidential candidate vivek ramaswamy dumb. that's like vivek ramaswamy calling joy behar hot. [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
CNN: Little Richard I Am Everything
9/17/2023 1:35am
... once he started to feel a buzz, it all came back. when i first wrote 'tutti frutti,' it was 'tutti frutti, good booty.' [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] people want it to be a thing, you know? i mean, this night, ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
9/6/2023 2:37am
... clean it and kick everyone off kat: what i don't understand is how is it all over the plane. if you're having explosive diarrhea probably not the best time to try to get your steps in. greg: yeah, that's true [laughter] [cheers and applause] kat: no? ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
9/6/2023 2:27am
... porn star. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: interesting. tyrus: just go to commercial. greg: one thing i'll look up tonight. it's like as you said, as long as we have other stuff going on, until we have nothing else going on. kennedy: okay, but i don't -- greg: we have a war and we're ...
CNN: Little Richard I Am Everything
9/5/2023 5:36am
... [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] people want it to be a thing, you know? i mean, this night, 'oh, he's got a thing. but wait a minute. this night, he's got another thing.' 'if it don't fit. don't force it.' ...
CNN: Little Richard I Am Everything
9/5/2023 2:36am
... when i first wrote 'tutti frutti,' it was 'tutti frutti, good booty.' [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] people want it to be a thing, you know? i mean, this night, 'oh, he's got a thing. but wait a minute. this night, he's got another thing.' ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
9/1/2023 2:20am
... so back it up jack sprat. [laughter] [cheers and applause] kat: all right. charlie, i am so fascinated with the repetition of the whole, his house burnt down. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/31/2023 2:06am
... tyrus: what? i would love to see a ghost, as long as he's not wearing a white sheet. [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/29/2023 2:33am
... [laughter] [cheers and applause] jimmy: kat, my favorite part, okay, was this was on the way to burning man, and everyone there on the road is clearly stoned ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/29/2023 2:20am
... no longer up to the task. and that's saying something because half of them dem voters are dead. [laughter] [cheers and applause] jimmy: jimmy, jimmy. come on. as for joe, if this month was any indication, he's already in ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/29/2023 2:06am
... lockdowns, you know. because all of that fear was used to push covid restrictions that led to much higher rates of depression, substance abuse and suicides. in fact, to this day only one thing has caused more suicides. [laughter] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/29/2023 2:04am
... than they really were because the mask was covering up 60% of their face. for example, here's a girl with a mask. okay? but here she is without it. [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Democracy 24 Fox News Republican Primary Debate
8/27/2023 7:54pm
... body america, you work. if you take out a loan, you pay it back. you commit a violent crime, you go to the jail. and if god made you a man, you play sports against man. [laughter] [cheers and applause] i'm tim scott. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/25/2023 2:32am
... information. jimmy: can i tell you something? i am rooting for that kid. the last time my identity got stolen my credit score went up 22 points. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: paul, do you think he'll be okay? paul: i hope so, greg. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/25/2023 2:19am
... dollars to pay for implanting a man's emotional support womb. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: no, it's okay. bret baier pointed out, that eats into people's time. ...
FOX News: Democracy 24 Fox News Republican Primary Debate
8/24/2023 2:57am
... who worked 16 hours a day making sure we had food on our tables but she tell me if you are able body america, you work. if you take out a loan, you pay it back. you commit a violent crime, you go to the jail. and if god made you a man, you play sports against man. [laughter] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/23/2023 2:06am
... brinton to guard your luggage. [laughter] [cheers and applause]. tyrus: that's pretty good. greg: or jesse watters to guard your rogaine. or obama to watch your dog. ...
CNN: The Eighties
8/20/2023 6:25am
... and he really became famous for one line in that speech. [ laughter, cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] _ _ _ ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/19/2023 2:04am
... early. [laughter] [cheers and applause] it's 'cause he's fat, i know. happy birthday to robert red ford who turned 87 today. and, to his hairpiece, which ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/2/2023 2:35am
... has been cast as an oompa loompa in the upcoming wonka moving angering little people who think the role should have gone to me. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: think about it though. thank you. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/1/2023 2:46am
... did you see the one where pink was on shave and somebody through their mother's ashes on stage. that's a true story. i guess the mom's girl was like i'm going to go to that concert over my dead body. [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/1/2023 2:26am
... issue. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: you know, i was told there's no such thing as a bad idea. [laughter] jamie: that used to be a saying until you said that thing about the toilet paper. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
8/1/2023 2:04am
... soccer, a foot they leave to children and lady people. i didn't make the rules. no bidens ever worked in the coal mines although once joe did stay in a basement for three months, so maybe that counts. [laughter] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
7/25/2023 2:47am
... highway and sang it, she would be brave. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: if he gets charged with assault and i was their lawyer i would say that that person was blocking my fist with their ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
7/21/2023 2:45am
... greg: kat, is this the only way women can get rich is through divorce? a sexist might say? i just said it as a sexist kat: i'm just compiling a real of all the things you say to me and i'm going to get rich that way. [laughter] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
7/21/2023 2:12am
... racial tension line. greg: exactly. [laughter] [cheers and applause]. jim: and i'll say this, i live in florida right now. if things go down, you better ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
7/18/2023 2:47am
... kat: are you okay? greg:. greg: i didn't get home last night until very late and, yeah, i'm having problems kat: you're drooling. greg: i'm drooling. guy: how was bubbles? [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
7/18/2023 2:46am
... teslas in the near future. greg: you know what happened the last time i blew bubbles? he quit the circus. [laughter] [cheers and applause] kat: what? tyrus: you want to say it tht time? ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
7/18/2023 2:45am
... . tyrus: you are queer. [laughter] [cheers and applause] guy: or for those who just tuned in that's a callback for a previous segment. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
7/18/2023 2:22am
... she didn't do. seriously if she got any better at avoiding actual work, she could be vice-president. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: but you've got to wonder, where were the washington post fact checkers ...
CNN: The History of Comedy
7/16/2023 1:29am
... donicker, dork, poontang. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] cornhole and dingleberry. [ laughter ] _ _ ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
7/15/2023 3:07am
... had been a bag of anthrax? that was an easy answer. hunter would have snorted that, too. [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
7/15/2023 3:02am
... a mansion designed to look like the white house just went up for sale in california. it's such an accurate replica, hunter biden keeps trying to sneak cocaine into it. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: that's good. the fda claims there have been ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
7/11/2023 8:21am
... you know what it reminds me of? jeff bezos. joe rogan. it is like -- anybody from florida. [laughter] [cheers and applause] guys who so used for aris. [laughter] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
7/11/2023 3:21am
... okay, he does look great. but it does look different. when you are that ripped. you know what it reminds me of? jeff bezos. joe rogan. it is like -- anybody from florida. [laughter] [cheers and applause] guys who so used for aris. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
7/2/2023 3:03am
... [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: thank you. yes. if only that were true at least then she would be useful instead she disappears for days or weeks ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
6/29/2023 3:03am
... [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: thank you. yes. if only that were true at least then she would be useful instead she disappears for days or weeks ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
6/28/2023 8:33am
... greg: yeah. they don't get it. they don't get it. johnny, it pisses me off because pizza is great. [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
6/28/2023 8:32am
... new york city is nothing without pizza! [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: hat, he has got a point. number one look, the people that ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
6/28/2023 3:33am
... greg: yeah. they don't get it. they don't get it. johnny, it pisses me off because pizza is great. [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
6/28/2023 3:32am
... new york city is nothing without pizza! [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: hat, he has got a point. number one look, the people that ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
6/22/2023 3:55am
... [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: that was good. that was good kt. kt you know a lot about the navy, so i apologize for that. should speech be pleased like this? kt: look, it's so sad, the ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
5/20/2023 3:45am
... possibly in his car, who cleans up in the mess when you pretend not to. jamie: you know what's funny i really did live in my car for a while but i would like to announce right here that we just closed on a minivan. [laughter] ...
FOX News: FOX and Friends Saturday
4/22/2023 1:07pm
... sunglasses so i can see. [laughter] [cheers and applause] as i've told my distinguished friend from massachusetts and good freshed, senator markey, that it's really very, very dull ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
4/21/2023 3:56am
... right? she's crying at a committee hearing in the house? okay. i just don't understand what point she's trying to make getting emotional. you can have passion but let's just shove that down like a good irish catholic. greg: exactly. [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
4/20/2023 3:20am
... john fetterman. [laughter] [cheers and applause] jimmy: jimmy so silly. meanwhile elon musk a manuela wear of ai's capabilities sat down with a mysterious man who doesn't age known as tucker carlson to discuss his own ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
4/18/2023 3:43am
... greg: she's skinny and white but boy can she write. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: it's the book spawned by our favorite angry blond. that's right kat's very first ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
4/18/2023 3:37am
... thing about me, i'll accept that ti'm pretty much a ca smudgen otherwise but the idea this is what's making people zombies. no, that's public schools man [laughter] [cheers and applause]. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
4/18/2023 3:25am
... imso much against the green energy i'm thinking about converting my legs to coal. i'm going to figure it out, i'm not doing electric anything. best joke i had for this one, okay, you better laugh. [laughter] [cheers and applause]. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
4/12/2023 3:37am
... is, i'd kick their asses then make out with their girlfriends. [laughter] [cheers and applause] joe: true story. but, greg, i try to look for ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
4/8/2023 11:52pm
... meghan markle's vision as being rewarded from her vision. guy: i think you buried the lead here, the real story is, dylan mulvaney has been robbed. [laughter] [cheers and applause] guy: and i will not stand for this bigotry not one second ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
4/5/2023 3:53am
... [laughter] [cheers and applause] guy: and i will not stand for this bigotry not one second longer. jimmy: fair kat: the only thing dylan mulvaney did not win. jimmy: kat you were telling us backstage meghan markle is an ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
4/1/2023 3:55am
... so this guy could have just had an amazing resume but it could really be you. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: well this has been a ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
4/1/2023 3:22am
... does it feel? and so it proves an important point about women's sports. that maybe it's time to take the spotlight off biological men and put it back where it belongs. on lesbians. [laughter] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
4/1/2023 3:05am
... tumbled to just 40%. so to give his numbers a boost he asked manhattan da alvin bragg to indict him. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: all right. now the news. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
3/28/2023 3:45am
... greg: harris, you don't have an emmy do you? harris: i have six. you know that. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: all right. it's local news. ...
FOX News: The Faulkner Focus
3/22/2023 3:23pm
... a pulitzer prize for back-to-back works. how in the hell did you do that? pretty good, man. i'm kind of looking for back-to-back myself. [laughter] [cheers and applause] harris: more and more reports say democratic party leaders are ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
3/7/2023 4:10am
... 50% of your [bleep]. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: at least he is not better. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
3/5/2023 0:46am
... stand your ground. greg: stand your ground or get 6 feet under ground. you know what i'm saying? [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
3/4/2023 4:11am
... sometimes i have money but when people want to borrow money, i'm broke. [laughter] [cheers and applause] but i'm going to deviate. he might have the case for discrimination here because in ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
3/3/2023 4:46am
... people? i think so, yes. stand your ground. greg: stand your ground or get 6 feet under ground. you know what i'm saying? [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
2/24/2023 4:24am
... employee. [laughter] [cheers and applause] they like that. kat: they like that one! jeanine: if a guy is with the department of energy, is that any surprise when the same ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
2/18/2023 4:33am
... a lot of knives and scissors. i would go looking for him. my only public service announcement is don't go to the gym. that's the best one. [laughter] [cheers and applause] dagen: best form of self-defense. stay safe people stay at home. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
2/18/2023 4:05am
... shot. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: now to some news. so where the hell is don and is he as good as good. another cnn gas bag potentially ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
2/15/2023 4:37am
... like jamie, you're my friend. gutfeld, you're my friend. [laughter] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
2/14/2023 4:55am
... didn't see jill biden kiss kamala's husband at the state of the union [laughter] [cheers and applause]. jimmy: it was like the one second they could both feel alive for both 30 seconds. conservatives are wired for fun ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
2/7/2023 4:28am
... crazy. i was at nordstrom's just to buy a sweater. turns out it's cheaper to spend the winter in barbados. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: want to end on that ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
2/7/2023 4:19am
... biden family we are as corrupt as can be i said the biden family it's total incompetencey [laughter] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
2/4/2023 4:36am
... not right now. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: chadwick, you know what i find interesting about him is how lazy he is as a liar. right? he doesn't build up background stories. he's no jussie smollett. he's like, i'll just lie. ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
2/2/2023 4:37am
... like as a dad. i feel bad -- because you know like, like there was a time when hunter was like a little kid and joe was teaching him to fall off a bike, you know? [laughter] [cheers and applause] ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
1/25/2023 4:33am
... stink of patriarchy. masculine, rugged, all american. gross. sounds like a trey gowdy swim suit calendar. [laughter] [cheers and applause] greg: just planting the idea. but if you're wondering why trucks are the most popular ...
FOX News: Gutfeld
1/25/2023 4:19am
... will the oscars be a pile of crap a year after will smith ease slap? i speak of course of the 95th annual academy awards. 95 years old. i believe we have a picture of the very first host. [laughter] ...